Meditations

Brief essays on life, religion, and anything else I might think about when I have the time.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Joy in the Evening

I went to Singspiration tonight after vespers. I usually don't go because the music, which goes on forever, is so loud that I can't understand the words. Tonight I went because more people that caucasians from New England complained about the volume so something might have been done about it. Something had been done about it, the accompaniment wasn't so loud, the lyrics were intelligible, and the song service only when on for half an hour.

They had a time for people to share what God had done for them recently and I wanted to share. Unfortunately so did a lot of other people. I didn't get to tell AUC what has been going on in my life and what God has done for me, so I thought that I could tell all of you instead. I think I need to say it and this way I know that it won't be about me as I will never know who ends up reading this.

This past week has been awful. Wednesday was the first of the clinical days with the "hard" instructor, and she was! I thought I was beginning to be competent with what I was doing until I had her and then I felt like I know nothing about anything. I also had a care plan that I forgot about that was due on Wednesday for the same teacher, so I spent 4 hours on Tuesday working on. The teacher never had anyone present them. While I was working on a project that it turns out I didn't need to do I wasn't studying for my first exam in Med/Surg II. This is a very hard class in that there is just so much information that you have to know inside and out.

I didn't feel like I had studied enough or perhaps it was that I hadn't studied the right information. I was planning on going to bed as early as I could on Wednesday and getting up between 5:30 and 6:30 to study a little extra. I went to bed at 11:30. My alarm either a. didn't go off (not likely) or b. the volume got turned down until I couldn't hear it at all (more likely as it's happened before). I woke up a 7:00 for a test at 7:30.

I haven't gotten my results yet but I understand that half the class failed.

That is the background to my story. My story is this...

Praise God because He gives peace and because He gives joy. Today was a wonderful day. I can't say it was because of this or because of the other thing. I was just happy all day long. I studied in the morning, I cleaned my room and did laundry, I got ice cream for dinner, I saw a flutterby butterfly today that flew right around me, I got to spend time with friends that are both new and old, and on top of everything I got to go to vespers service and it was communion. I was joyful all day from nothing that I did myself.

God is very kind to me. Today lifted my spirits and lighten my load, not because I was super efficient and got a lot done; when you're in nursing there is always more that you can do, but because everywhere I looked there was joy. I can't seem to even say how much it meant to me to have a time where I wasn't worrying or stressed about every thing. A day where I did what I could but didn't worry about the things I didn't get done. A day where I had the time to notice the butterflies around me instead of just rushing from class to clinical to work to studying.

I also just started studying the bible again, really studying it instead of just randomly picking it up and reading a chapter here or there. I'm looking up the verses abut love because I don't love people or God enough. I just started but i think that because I'm starting to put God back as a priority in my life he has permitting to do lovely things for me. Or perhaps because I'm paying attention to Him I'm just noticing what He has been trying to do for me all along.

However it happened, today (well, yesterday now) was a gift straight from the hand of God.