The way that I am?

While I was in the car this morning I was listening to the radio when a praise song came on. It went "You love me. You love me. You love me just the way I am." Repeat. Repeat. That little song got me thinking.

Well, first I didn't think I just reacted. It irritated me, annoyed me, made me flick off the radio. Then I did what all melancholics are made to do best. I analyzed my reaction. Why did this song peeve me? It wasn't because it was untrue. God does love everyone no matter who they are or what they are like. That, I think, is God's greatest allure.

It wasn't (just) because it was repetitive. There are some songs that I like a lot that are just as repetitive. Repeating something over and over is a good way to learn important ideas, to have them permanently ingrained in your thoughts and actions.

No, the reason I had a problem with that little song wasn't what it said or the way it was said but what it didn't say. It didn't say that because God loves you the way you are, you never have to change. It didn't say that you have a free pass to do what you want. But it implied it.

I may well be reading way too much into the song--farther than any normal, sane American would. However it's possible that without "logic-ing" it all out the average American may unknowingly come up with the same conclusion. Let me explain.

Picture a young couple canoodling under the stars and skies. "I love you" the young man whispers. "Oh! I love you just the way you are!" The girl smiles and leans into the embrace, secure in the love that is expressed. She goes home and calls her friend. "He said that he loves me, that he never wants me to change" she confides.

The next day they go out to eat and when the girl orders a quarter pound cheeseburger her love says, "You shouldn't eat that, it's not good for you. Why don't you get something that won't cause a heart attack when you're thirty?" Turning to him with indignation shining in her eyes she says "I always get this, it's my favorite! You knew that before and you said you loved me the way I am; that you wouldn't want me to change. Well, you're trying to change me so you obviously lied! Did you lie about loving me too?" Whirling around, she grabs her lunch and storms out leaving her bemused lover behind.

The young man didn't lie. He never said that he never wanted her to change. But he did use words that are culturally synonymous with that idea. It was understandable for the girl to think that "just the way you are" translates into "don't ever change" although she severely overreacted.

People do this all the time with God. He says something and people interpret that as something that, while similar, isn't what he said and then when it seems like he lied they extrapolate that "deception" to every other promise given.

On inspection of my reaction to the song I realized the problem was that God does expect us to change and that he also does love us just the way we are. How can such a simple song explain that Gordian knot?

How can it reveal the heart of God who loves us unconditionally no matter who we are or what we do and yet, somehow within that unconditional love, expects and even demands change of us? Even change that is for our best and makes us healthier and live longer seems at odds with our human concept of love.

Just as the young man wanted his love to be alive when he was old, God wants us to be with Him and for that to happen something must change. The conflict comes when we say, as we have, that if someone loves us as we are they wouldn't want us to ever change. While God doesn’t force us to change He is always inviting us to change. If we never accept that invitation He won’t stop loving us, neither will he love us less. He will just keep offering.

Conversely, if we do change as He asks He won’t love us any more than He did before because he can’t. He already loves us completely. When we change we’ll just get to enjoy His love forever.

To simplify such an important and confusing idea is to invite misunderstanding and the disappointment with God that follows. A better song might be something like this...
"God loves me.
God loves me.
God loves me just the way I am.

God change me.
God change me.
God change me into what You are."